Competitors or partners?

26 February 2016, Hermo Kuusk, former teacher

This is the question I ask when I speak about equality between men and women. It seems that people want to create opposition between men and women, to make them fall out with each other.

This is the impression I get when I read articles in media, where people keep insulting the opposite sex. Why? Unfortunately, there is also a lot of truth in these articles, as men and women see each other as competitors, in worse cases as enemies, since their time at nursery school.

As adults, they bring this attitude into their family relationships, which are dominated by hate and disappointment in each other’s roles instead of mutual understanding and cooperation. We should look for the root of the problem in the way people are raised and educated. Good upbringing and education allow us to raise harmonious people and make society see that the two sexes are partners who should be cooperating.

We must try to find and direct the inner development potential of each person according to his or her interests.

It’s important for boys and girls to cooperate as much as possible when they’re at school. Home economics and crafts, family studies, civil defence and military training are good for the development of cooperation (the latter should be a compulsory subject for all students). These are the lessons where attention should be given to the cooperation of boys and girls.

We are a country with a small population and everyone should be as diverse as possible if we want to last as a nation and a state.
Why are there so few women in politics? This has been discussed many times. Once again, the main reason lies in upbringing and the society’s attitudes. Women are raised to be cautious and often also insecure. Insecurity and lack of confidence are the reasons why women are afraid to participate in politics and only count on men.

At an early age, girls are told: “you as a future mother”, and the same applies to boys: “what kind of a man are you” and so on. These are common clichés. Of course, the things that push people apart are to some extent also rooted in their character, but a caring upbringing can smooth out any incompatibility in characters. When a girl has constantly been put down at home and given a very strict upbringing, then being a homemaker and raising children is the best she can expect.

This breeds women who are unable to stand up for themselves and have to put up with things like the pay gap or the role of a single mother. The latter, of course, should not be a goal in itself. The relationships of men and women in the context of equality need more than the introduction of external quotas.

The establishment of quotas in society does not guarantee harmonious and fair relationships between men and women. What good are quotas if the problems don’t disappear and may even worsen instead? A woman who is selected because of quotas will not be looking after the interests of other women. The mental health of a society is largely based on the good relationships between men and women.